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Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805 — 02/08/2010 at 1:58am
by Anonymous — love
I agree, your life sucks (16692)
You totally deserve it (4967)

I think that sounds AWESOME!

#1 - 02/08/2010 at 6:12am - Cupcaken

Agreed. But I'd prefer a beard... what's wrong with you, OP? Beards are amazing!

#9 - 02/08/2010 at 6:26am - iEmily

That's awesome to high school girls who think moustaches are hot because they want to get with older guys...too bad the older guys that would date high schoolers are 25 year old dropouts who work at Burger King

#33 - 02/08/2010 at 7:37am - Malinkrot

I'm almost 25 and work at Burger King, although I prefer to date elementary school children...

#45 - 02/08/2010 at 8:22am - Brave_Sir_Robin

ok honestly? beards r kinda gross...

#63 - 02/08/2010 at 8:50am - nnero0

Beards aren't gross if kept at a proper length and are properly taken care of.

#71 - 02/08/2010 at 9:29am - did_it_4_lulz

Three cheers for molesting!

#73 - 02/08/2010 at 9:44am - Americunt

agreed

#76 - 02/08/2010 at 9:52am - itachi5464

molestache!

#81 - 02/08/2010 at 10:10am - Jimbo13Jones

@ Brave_Sir_Robin

#90 - 02/08/2010 at 11:33am - BrisingrSverdar

^ sorry about the above, FML app has something against 'and' symbols :S

#91 - 02/08/2010 at 11:34am - BrisingrSverdar

I agree your bf sounds mad cool

#93 - 02/08/2010 at 11:46am - skyboy

Kudos to the handlebar!

#97 - 02/08/2010 at 12:24pm - Montacita

@ 81- I almost choked on a pretzel. that's hilarious!

#114 - 02/08/2010 at 3:07pm - kyaquatel

I keep mine short and finely styled. But this man did it so you really can ride him like a bike and still feel in control. Peace out x

#132 - 02/08/2010 at 6:31pm - trickyd

@27 HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY!

#142 - 02/08/2010 at 7:27pm - silvervolt7

Isn't that normal there in Texas?

#143 - 02/08/2010 at 7:29pm - tobyraza

handlebar mustaches are sexy

#146 - 02/08/2010 at 7:54pm - lillybear

handlebars are awesome

#147 - 02/08/2010 at 7:55pm - yhames88

@45- WIN!

#151 - 02/08/2010 at 9:17pm - DrEa_IN2_ur_HART

I agree! handlebar is the awesomeness!!!

#154 - 02/08/2010 at 9:54pm - Wargen

THAT'S SO FREAKIN AMAZING!!!! :D totally not FML material!

#163 - 02/09/2010 at 12:15am - coffeeicecream

YDI because you didn't think it was awesome and/or hilarious. It was.

#165 - 02/09/2010 at 12:34am - Chopperman

Correction. That would be McDonalds.

#169 - 02/09/2010 at 3:52am - MeliJelly

does anyone else think that men with moustaches can't be trusted? cause I've lived by that rule and it's pretty legit...I'm just sayin.

#181 - 02/09/2010 at 11:36pm - MissKitKa

haha that's so funny! That sounds like something my fiancée would do!! lol

#2 - 02/08/2010 at 6:12am - Kathy24

I sure hope you meant "fiancé," or that's really gross!!

#19 - 02/08/2010 at 7:03am - BeeSkwaird

FYI #2. fianceé is female. fiancé is male lol

#25 - 02/08/2010 at 7:15am - Lawzen_Rainbow

so what if she actually ment fiancèe? freakin homofobes

#53 - 02/08/2010 at 8:38am - Cupcaken

I don't think they were being homophobic, I think they just meant that if the partner was female it would be gross if she could grow a full handlebar moustache. IMO anyway.

#56 - 02/08/2010 at 8:40am - pendatic

It's not an issue of homophobia... if #2 meant "fiancée", as in the female version, that would imply a woman with a handlebar mustache.

EDIT: pendatic beat me to the punch, as usual. Heh.

#58 - 02/08/2010 at 8:42am - twoknives

uhh #53 I wasn't being homophobic. I was getting at the fact that if her "fiancée" had a beard it would be gross as fiancée is female. think before u post fool

#64 - 02/08/2010 at 8:50am - Lawzen_Rainbow

The scariest part is that the "fiancée" would have to had grown it in a month. 0_0

#119 - 02/08/2010 at 3:51pm - green_shade

Hey everyone, sorry, I did mean to put Fiancé but my phone auto corrects everything and put two e's for some reason. Sorry about that.

#150 - 02/08/2010 at 8:41pm - Kathy24

so uh im gonna be the guy everyone hates in this one and pull the douchebag move of saying "FIRST!"

#3 - 02/08/2010 at 6:12am - bearandtherobot

...congratulations on third.
@OP, it was probably just a joke. Ask him to shave the rest off XD

#4 - 02/08/2010 at 6:14am - Shutsuji

3 you're a fuckin retard

#20 - 02/08/2010 at 7:04am - bobert258

it's definitely a douchebag move
...especially considering you're THIRD.
hahahahahahahahaha..

#34 - 02/08/2010 at 7:41am - babybubz

Thats awesome!

#5 - 02/08/2010 at 6:15am - Hapsap

freakin sweet!

#6 - 02/08/2010 at 6:18am - fuckyocouch

Grow a beard so his face starts to itch and then negotiate with him; if he shaves his moustache off you'll shave ur beard.

#7 - 02/08/2010 at 6:26am - Rangant

ftw

#22 - 02/08/2010 at 7:10am - g02hell

What about public?

#27 - 02/08/2010 at 7:17am - wooow_sucks_for_

27 did u mean pubic? cuz if not i dont understand what you said

#29 - 02/08/2010 at 7:19am - div01

I think "public" probably makes more sense than "pubic" 29....

#38 - 02/08/2010 at 7:52am - Twinklestar

I think "pubic" makes more sense than "public" here.

*waits for huge debate*

#44 - 02/08/2010 at 8:16am - Freeze

#38, #44 - Rabble, rabble?

#46 - 02/08/2010 at 8:24am - Brave_Sir_Robin

Ok Freeze, I'll oblige by responding as well. I think neither of them make any sense. And I think B_S_R makes perfect sense, as usual!

#48 - 02/08/2010 at 8:26am - pendatic

My interpretation: #7 was talking about the OP, a female, growing a beard to spite him. So #27 questioned the idea of said female having a beard in public.

Rage on, debate!

#50 - 02/08/2010 at 8:29am - twoknives

My interpretation: #27 meant to say pubic, accidentally placed an "l" to make the word "public", and now we're stuck on a pointless debate that will probably end with me sleeping with someone's sister, brother, pet goat, or all three at the same time.

So let's just skip all the pointless chatter and get to the conclusion already, okay?

#51 - 02/08/2010 at 8:33am - Brave_Sir_Robin

I'm with 51.

Run away before Twinkle types up a huge essay response!

#52 - 02/08/2010 at 8:35am - Freeze

*legs it in fear*

#60 - 02/08/2010 at 8:43am - pendatic

lol, yes #50 ur interpretation of my comment was correct. lol this is cool, my 1st fml comment and a debate has begun :)

#65 - 02/08/2010 at 8:51am - Rangant

*legs it back* Thank you for that. I was wondering.

#67 - 02/08/2010 at 9:00am - pendatic

Congrats, Rangant. Many people may die on the Internet because of your words of wisdom and advice.

#70 - 02/08/2010 at 9:22am - Brave_Sir_Robin

well you COULD also not shave your pubes haha thall deff get him to shave. I was gunna do that with my ex when he was considering getting cornrows.

#100 - 02/08/2010 at 1:03pm - mfmylifesrsly

Shoulda got cornrows in ya pubes...

#109 - 02/08/2010 at 2:28pm - pendatic

cornrows on a puss? I'd love to see that

#112 - 02/08/2010 at 2:46pm - drilher244

@pendatic. it's funny how you have conversations on every fml with certain people. reading ur comments are the best lmao (:

#127 - 02/08/2010 at 6:00pm - sum1savemeh

What about not shaving your legs and/or underarms? That might work too.

#180 - 02/09/2010 at 10:23pm - x_HELLo_tHERE_x

i think he was taking your safety in consideration so that way you dont fall off next time your riding his face. seems like a pretty cool guy to me!

#8 - 02/08/2010 at 6:26am - evilspongebob

Roflmao :D I think you're right!

#14 - 02/08/2010 at 6:49am - Boudewijn

Haha I'd like to see how that'd work

#170 - 02/09/2010 at 5:48am - oNikkio

lol

#10 - 02/08/2010 at 6:29am - jaddie101

I grew a beard about a month ago and have been threatening my girlfriend with muttonchops ever since.

#11 - 02/08/2010 at 6:36am - screamqueen

Is muttonchops some sort of Karate move?



jk.

#49 - 02/08/2010 at 8:28am - pendatic

27th president William H. Taft would be proud.

#12 - 02/08/2010 at 6:41am - arrivezalhelico

don't shave your kitty so HE will itch. lmaoo

#13 - 02/08/2010 at 6:43am - youngmikeeee

well good thing it wasn't a full out grizzly monster whole face beard

#15 - 02/08/2010 at 6:53am - Cagemaster300

yes

#105 - 02/08/2010 at 1:47pm - manbearpig28

ha thats awesome

#16 - 02/08/2010 at 6:54am - juliannaaaa

I'd be pissed if my husband shaved his beard off. We have an agreement... he keeps his beard, I continue to shave my pits and legs. If he were to shave, he knows I would stop shaving until he grew his beard back out. What do you have against men who look like men?

#18 - 02/08/2010 at 7:00am - birds

Not everyone finds facial hair sexy. Also, she said that it itches. I have the same issue with my boyfriend, when he doesn't shave for a while it tickles and itches when we kiss and is really annoying.

OP, just talk to him!

#40 - 02/08/2010 at 7:54am - shinyred

month old beard can itch because its too short, once it gets longer its pretty soft

#72 - 02/08/2010 at 9:36am - grv

I agree with OP...it's not about the looks. I like the way my boyfriend looks with a beard. Unfortunately, his beard likes to scratch my face up. The first time we made out, my chin was so red and peel-y the next day that people at school thought I was *sunburned.* Not a pleasant experience.

#92 - 02/08/2010 at 11:42am - talaina

Hellz yeah! Where's the "that's awesome" button because this is neither FYL or YDI!

#21 - 02/08/2010 at 7:04am - alexFYL

they realy need to get that installed

#26 - 02/08/2010 at 7:17am - Cupcaken

Handlebar mos are hot! Jealous much!

#23 - 02/08/2010 at 7:13am - mirrorfad

those are pretty awesome. i wish my boyfriend would grow one.

#24 - 02/08/2010 at 7:14am - mikrav

You are one lucky lady!

#28 - 02/08/2010 at 7:19am - Quest_

thats a win stop complaining

#30 - 02/08/2010 at 7:22am - him51772

Just tell him that you can ride his face with no handlebars. No handlebars. No handlebars.

#31 - 02/08/2010 at 7:30am - seventen

flobots ftw!

#54 - 02/08/2010 at 8:38am - Kittyy

Lol :) people are right this isn't really a FYL or a YDI.. I find those mustaches a little funny though

#35 - 02/08/2010 at 7:43am - Diannaa

I totally agree. it hair how is ur life fucked OP? Stop whining and tell him u don't like it and get over it.

#79 - 02/08/2010 at 10:01am - spazz1824

dude that's awesome

#36 - 02/08/2010 at 7:44am - avarik

I  facial hair
..not like a full out Osama beard..
but facial hair is sexeh and manly 
be thankful he can grow some.

#37 - 02/08/2010 at 7:46am - babybubz

How is this an FML?

#39 - 02/08/2010 at 7:52am - Thoureau

He can do whatever he wants with his own facial hair. Some of you women think you have to control everything. Like you've never gotten a hairdo that he hates and makes you look like a douche bag. #39 is right. This is not an FML.

#42 - 02/08/2010 at 8:00am - youthink

This.

I bet if her boyfriend ever dared to complain about her shaving choices, she'd come up with some feminist nonsense about how he should respect what she chooses to do.

#43 - 02/08/2010 at 8:15am - maxgray

Did he wax it with the stuff you rip out your pubes with?

#47 - 02/08/2010 at 8:26am - perdix

dont get it

#55 - 02/08/2010 at 8:39am - ocramavaf

perdix is just being perdix...
and so what if he did? what I don't get is the problem with that xD

#57 - 02/08/2010 at 8:41am - Cupcaken

The potential for infection, for one.

If he's plunging his dirty fingers in her wax to shape his 'stache, then she's putting it as close as possible to the Golden Palace to weed the garden, some bad bacteria may invade Miss Puss-Puss.

#66 - 02/08/2010 at 8:56am - perdix

f his life 4 looking like an ass

#59 - 02/08/2010 at 8:43am - zuuzuu

You've seen an ass with a handlebar mustache? Please, whoever that ass belongs to, urge them to see a doctor ASAP!

#61 - 02/08/2010 at 8:45am - dbcheeseburger

maybe he thought you can "handle" it. hahaha!

#62 - 02/08/2010 at 8:46am - wafiq

to

#68 - 02/08/2010 at 9:10am - zuuzuu

mustaches are awesome!

#69 - 02/08/2010 at 9:12am - grog

I fail to see the problem. Now you can get mustache rides. :D

#74 - 02/08/2010 at 9:46am - Snomel

Eh, OP, I see this as a blessing. A BUSHY BLESSING!

Anyways, at least he doesn't have an Osama shave.

#75 - 02/08/2010 at 9:52am - Americunt

lol I hope he was doing it as a joke and has now shaved it off. there is nothing attractive about a moustache

#77 - 02/08/2010 at 9:52am - ilyfml4ev

Free Mustache Rides for you!

#78 - 02/08/2010 at 9:55am - CallMeHush

I agree with #1, that sounds awesome, and handlebar mustaches are rad!

#80 - 02/08/2010 at 10:05am - Jimbo13Jones

Your life is fucked indeed if something likes this is an FML to you...

#83 - 02/08/2010 at 10:19am - The_Great_Zucchi

my boyfriend has a regular 'stache :( I wish he was That creative >_>

#84 - 02/08/2010 at 10:43am - PsychoMerk

Embrace the new lifestyle he has chosen. Go out and buy his-n-hers bicycles from the 1800's with the big front wheel and tiny back wheel!

#85 - 02/08/2010 at 10:44am - Gobsnoglin

I'm sure that if you kindly ask him to take the rest off and then shave his beard regularly he'll do it... especially if you make him understand you're more likely to touch his face when it's shaven >_>

#86 - 02/08/2010 at 11:05am - superfine

are you kidding me? my boyfriend LIVES with a handlebar moustache, he's gotten in fights over it. i LOVE it.

#87 - 02/08/2010 at 11:17am - leafygreen

I wonder if this precludes buying a chopper. If so, he has good taste.

BTW, it's not like it wasn't your choice to date the guy, so how could that be an FML? If you don't like it, leave him. Duh.

#89 - 02/08/2010 at 11:27am - blastvortex

Hey OP. Make lemonade: buy him a conversation T-Shirt that says
"Guns don't kill people. People with mustaches kill people."

Trust me. It'll be awesome.

#94 - 02/08/2010 at 11:47am - unpossible

he wins in my book.

#95 - 02/08/2010 at 12:14pm - bfjak10

Win for the guy for not bein control by a women.

#96 - 02/08/2010 at 12:22pm - Chuson

Your boyfriend's much cooler than you, OP.

Handlebars are awesome.

#98 - 02/08/2010 at 12:28pm - turdburgers

You didn't like it?! Handlebar mustaches are the best!

#99 - 02/08/2010 at 12:28pm - zenti

win.
OP fails

#101 - 02/08/2010 at 1:10pm - i_luv_cheese

it's a-me Mario!

#102 - 02/08/2010 at 1:21pm - yesterday1_2

lol I feel your pain, my husband has been growing his beard out for about six weeks now so he can do the same thing!

#103 - 02/08/2010 at 1:44pm - valentina14

with a great stache comes great responcibility, just make sure he isn't caught around any schools.

#104 - 02/08/2010 at 1:46pm - lawless15

Hulk Hogan's back? No one told me this.

#106 - 02/08/2010 at 1:52pm - Skeeter013

Does your boyfriend play Call of Duty? Tell him jokingly that if he loves Captain Price so much, he should marry him.

#107 - 02/08/2010 at 2:23pm - Compass

I dont know what you are complaining about

#108 - 02/08/2010 at 2:26pm - hiimlogan

that is HILLARIOUS!!

#110 - 02/08/2010 at 2:28pm - kialuvsyoo

bahahahha that's fuckin funny

#111 - 02/08/2010 at 2:33pm - sugarbabyxoxo

So I love mustaches as long as they're not on my guy. I do like my guy to have a beard though...

#113 - 02/08/2010 at 2:48pm - automatedeffemel

How awesome is that?!

#115 - 02/08/2010 at 3:12pm - Erindub

...at least you have something to hold on to now...

#116 - 02/08/2010 at 3:17pm - JigglesMcThighs

That's friggin' aaaaaaaawesome! My husband has a fairly epic mustache that he waxes & curls sometimes. Ha.

#117 - 02/08/2010 at 3:30pm - myrrh

loser!! wow haha

#118 - 02/08/2010 at 3:37pm - blondie007

... I fail to see the problem. This isn't "you deserve it" or "I agree, your life sucks". This just *is*. If you don't like the mustache, tell him so. Whining about it to strangers just makes you sound like someone that whines to strangers.

#121 - 02/08/2010 at 4:26pm - EscherEnigma

No, this is a YDI because OP doesn't seem to be able understand what awesome is, even when she is literally staring at it

#164 - 02/09/2010 at 12:27am - gigi37

If you haven't told him what you prefer, you can't really complain. Or if he knows you don't like it and did it anyway, well, it's his face, but you don't have to date him! DTMF-Hipster-A!

#122 - 02/08/2010 at 4:30pm - justmeagirl

beards are nice if they're so long that they are no longer stubbly. then again, I like the Viking look

a moustache by itself is creepy. especially if the man in question has jeff dahmer glasses

#123 - 02/08/2010 at 4:31pm - lky830

This sounds like one of my gym teachers.
He always has a funny mustache or beard.

#124 - 02/08/2010 at 4:45pm - VoodooGypsy

sounds like a douchebag... beards>handlebar mustaches.

#125 - 02/08/2010 at 4:57pm - nates0210

All facial hair is sexy, I don't know WHAT you're complaining about...

I take that back, peach fuzz on teen boys, beards that look like pubes, and those little mustaches Mexicans grow in three days all suck.

So basically, all *well-groomed* facial hair is sexy :D

#126 - 02/08/2010 at 5:42pm - ScaryyMary

gross.... not diggin the sex offender look

#128 - 02/08/2010 at 6:10pm - irishgirljune

yeah I think I'll call that a win

#129 - 02/08/2010 at 6:19pm - DizzyVulps

that's so cuuute :3

#130 - 02/08/2010 at 6:17pm - idaniboo

I'm afraid he's going into the porn industry.

#131 - 02/08/2010 at 6:22pm - bullsht

hahahaha awwwww

#133 - 02/08/2010 at 6:33pm - Nic_hole

Whoa. That's AWESOME.

#135 - 02/08/2010 at 6:44pm - NoteMyGrin

Awesome!!!!!

#136 - 02/08/2010 at 6:50pm - Nonocea

handlebars are awesome what are you complaining about?

#137 - 02/08/2010 at 6:58pm - iplaylax

hehe that sounds sick

#139 - 02/08/2010 at 7:05pm - alexd375

lol moustache in german literally means snot catcher for those who didn't know:p

#140 - 02/08/2010 at 7:09pm - 9010649

LOL!!! AWESOME!!!!!!

#141 - 02/08/2010 at 7:17pm - ninjasmurf

Seriously, he's AWESOME!

#144 - 02/08/2010 at 7:35pm - GreenRupee

lmao my bf did that once... and got rid of it later :D

#145 - 02/08/2010 at 7:45pm - lululovesmusik

that's tight!!

#148 - 02/08/2010 at 8:02pm - k_cool

That's just awesome. Kudos to him if he can pull it off.

#149 - 02/08/2010 at 8:36pm - ariaofdoom

OP, tell him that you only ride with no handlebars. If he gets it, he'll shave it off.

#152 - 02/08/2010 at 9:19pm - koreanhops213

Are you sure you're not dating my husband? Since meeting him, he's had a full beard, mutton chops, a van dyke, a handlebar mustache, and (last but not least) been totally clean shaven. I prefer the clean shaven look... but he looks so young without facial hair that someone recently commented to me about being a cougar for marrying someone so young. I'm 39, he's 43.

#153 - 02/08/2010 at 9:33pm - KittyBelle

win.

#155 - 02/08/2010 at 10:14pm - nintenDX

lmfao. something i would do.

#156 - 02/08/2010 at 10:35pm - bryan4lyf305

rebel power

#157 - 02/08/2010 at 10:47pm - joeb95

lmfao priceless

#158 - 02/08/2010 at 11:08pm - Iimanii09

FOR THE WIN

#159 - 02/08/2010 at 11:21pm - daneeyoll

hahaha

#160 - 02/08/2010 at 11:26pm - fmlurlife

Why does some whiny ass shit like this get moderated?

#161 - 02/08/2010 at 11:46pm - LOLomgWTF

...win

#162 - 02/08/2010 at 11:48pm - peasinacan

I hate it when women tell men what to do with their facial hair. Beards FTW

#166 - 02/09/2010 at 12:43am - Loosicles

Is that it? :D
You're upset because your bf isn't pussy whipped and has a sense of humour? :D
Handlebars FTW.

#167 - 02/09/2010 at 1:08am - haraken

epic

#168 - 02/09/2010 at 1:30am - joesuperman

When your girlfriend can start growing a beard, then she can tell you how to shave it.

#171 - 02/09/2010 at 9:03am - Gvaz

Sounds like something my soon to be ex husband (the divorce aint final yet!) would do.....lol and he is even in texas....so if it is him the handlebar moustache is the least of your worries........he is far worse than facial hair

#172 - 02/09/2010 at 10:56am - savagejane8105

I don't know why you're complaining about this. It's better than a beard, isn't it?

#173 - 02/09/2010 at 11:02am - muahahafml

Beards are much better than mustaches. Mustaches are gross.

#174 - 02/09/2010 at 1:26pm - HellfireRogue

my boyfriend would do the same thingg!!

#175 - 02/09/2010 at 5:05pm - hofffff

Hey! He sounds cool! YDI for putting this on here.

#176 - 02/09/2010 at 7:30pm - rawr_forever

Sounds awesome to me

#177 - 02/09/2010 at 7:39pm - deoxylophone

Mustaches are awesome. Stop complaining and make your man a sandwich.

#178 - 02/09/2010 at 8:51pm - pancakesplease

The Bright Side: Now you can steer what you ride.

#179 - 02/09/2010 at 10:06pm - SirRender

awww Cute! lol Hubbys do the oddest things!

#182 - 02/10/2010 at 12:00am - pansy2me

hhahahahah I can totally imagine that....hilarious!!!

#183 - 02/10/2010 at 3:53pm - flamegirl101

My brother did the same exact thing to his wife the other day. I'm pretty sure the mustache is gone now though.

#184 - 02/10/2010 at 11:55pm - Lalaladida

LOL! My dad has a handlebar mustache.

#185 - 02/11/2010 at 4:10pm - ObeyTheSnarf

HOLY CRAP THATS AMAZING!! ROTFLOL!!!

#186 - 02/11/2010 at 8:57pm - KarinaValencia

With great mustache comes great responsibility.

#187 - 02/11/2010 at 11:11pm - jackhagan

LOL my man did that so I told him I would not take him to work unless he shaved cause he looked stupid... he shaved... FHL lol lol

#188 - 02/12/2010 at 5:16am - marsty

beggers can't be choosers. (:

#189 - 02/14/2010 at 2:20am - ShizzleMyNizzle

I have a beard and they are awesome if trimed

#190 - 02/18/2010 at 4:17pm - bcwarrior60

That.......is.......AWESOME!!!!

#191 - 02/20/2010 at 9:02am - progamer3054

@ #45 are u freaking serious elementry girls... thats just sick and to the op get over it it is just a beard...

#192 - 03/14/2010 at 1:37am - ninba20

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