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Today, I realised I hate my cat. She has 'stress incontinence', which involved her peeing all over my house. Last week I found out she'd been peeing on my stove, and I can't clean off the smell. Now whenever I try to cook some food, the kitchen is flooded with the scent of burning cat pee. FML

You could always, I dunno, train her to stay out of the kitchen?

Good luck trying to train a cat, it would be easier to just get rid of the cat. FYL OP. My cat's recently started peeing on the stove too. I don't know why he's doing it. I know the smell, it isn't pleasant.

u cant really train a cat...they tend not to listen...may i suggest treatment .22?

That's freaking sick....I can't even imagine what that would be like. FYL.

Cook the cat. The house will stink that time, but the problem will be solved going forward.

lmao.....

problem solved

perdix I think I love you.

Hold the cat down and pee on him. Sweet revenge.

hahahahahahahahahaha....ydi for not getting a dog.

/agree

dogs suck

NO you suck! CAT ARE WORTHLESS

Agreed! Dogs = WIN

this FML is fantastic.

um, ew. but you shouldnt hate her, its not her fault. you should have trained her and possibly have her spayed (if thats the actual problem, usually its only with males tho)

In humans stress incontinence is involuntary, so if you sneeze or cough some urine comes out. If it is the same in cats she couldn't have trained the cat not to be like this

I think they meant trained her to stay out of certain rooms, which is a perfectly reasonable solution. (And yes, cats can be trained like that.) She could also get a diaper. That sucks for you and your cat, but you can't hate her for something she can't help. That's unfair. Just give her away if you can't deal with her problems. If you were in the US, in Illinois, I'd come get the poor thing.

agreed, it's not the cat's fault for not being able to hold it in thus shouldn't be "hated" for something she has no control over, that's basically like me saying that i hate people because they breathe air -.- i'd take her if OP was in the u.s. and also hopefully in cali :(

It could be worse, you could have a DOG with "stress incontinence" LOL, that would suck shit! Dog crap and pee everywhere haha

This is why dogs are man's (or woman's) best friend. Especially a small dog. They are not big enough to get on top of the stove and they only make small messes.

are you serious? little dogs are like not even real dogs. i like my dogs not to squeek. German Shepherds for life

You may already have done so, but you might check with the vet to see if she actually has a urinary track infection. It would cause the same behavior.

I've always wondered what the scent of burning cat pee is like. In some Asian cultures burning cat pee is used for aromatherapy. Consider yourself lucky that you have a cat that is aware of this fact. Your own little aroma therapist!

Aww, this comment is adorable. OP should feel much better if she reads it.

Ydi. Dogs are waaaaayyyyyyyy better house pets!!

YDI. You should've noticed earlier. You shouldn't hate your cat-it's not his fault he has that condition.

YDI after 'I hate my cat'

*she *her

Kick out the old cat, nd get a new cat

Yeah .. my mom has that as well..

ur mom also pees in ovens?

My mom pees in the washer. It's perfectly normal. Your mom must simply use a toilet.

Dogs are better! I don't like cats!

dam, i would be killing that cat.

Your cat + trash bag + a body of water = WIN!

major WIN!

Don't hate your cat :( Gosh.... some of the comments are so cruel. It's not your cat's fault. Stress incontinence is involuntary. If you go to your local pet store, they might have some diapers that are meant for animals in heat, but would probably work well for your cat.

i agree with #26. some of the comments are really cruel. yea some people don't like cats, but apparently OP does, and that is why she has one, of course. and it isn't the cats fault, so just buy her some diapers. or just give it to somebody who will love it. because apparently you don't love it enough to care. it probably doesn't enjoy pissing everywhere involuntarily.

Oh, she's been to the vet. Lots. And apparently, unlike in humans, cat 'stress incontinence' isn't the kind where you pee when you sneeze, but the kind where you pee everywhere when you're stressed. Why is she stressed? We think she freaked out when my husband worked away from home for a few weeks. Why isn't she better - dunno! She has meds. from the vet to help her. I can't keep her out of the kitchen, due to the design of my funny, v. old, house the kitchen doesn't have a door to close it off from the rest of the house. Also her cat-flap (kitty door) is in the front door, which opens onto ...the kitchen. And she's been peeing under my bed... I've now thoroughly run out of tolerance for cat pee, hence the hatred...

why would you cook your cat?

For dinner. It makes a mean bulgogi. Maybe even some tacos with hot sauce! I jest.

I feel bad for you, but really - why is your cat on the countertop? I've had 4 cats and none of them were allowed on the countertop. It's not that hard to train them.

obviously, the cat is sick. all the "kill the cat" comments are just plain mean. the op should have trained her cat better and maybe the cat wouldn't have peed on the stove. just get a new stove. the end.

You poor thing. My evil little one has done the same thing. Bleach and a lot of it. Keep scrubbing it, keep adding more bleach and then you gotta rinse and rinse again so it doesn't smell like bleach.

DO NOT DO THIS. Bleach may very well get the smell out, but cat pee consists primarily of ammonia, and everyone knows that bleach+ammonia=deadly chlorine gas. It may not be much, but it's still harmful. Use baking soda!

Or mix the bleach with the cat pee, and use it to gas the cat. Two birds with one stone.

it's chloramine not chlorine, and it won't come from dried cat piss, the ammonia is volitile so as long as you wash with water first, or let it dry it will be perfectly safe, just don't piss in the bleach

Clean the stove with a baking soda paste. If it's really bad, you may want to let the paste sit overnight. I promise it will get the smell of pee off your stove. As for the cat... does she only pee when you're not home? You may have to lock her in the bathroom while you're gone, to at least contain the problem to an area that's easily cleaned. She also may have a urinary infection... see another vet if your current vet told you she's "stress incontinent," whatever that means.

Wow. That sucks. My indoor cat became an indoor/outdoor cat after he started doing that to us. Indoors when we're home, Outdoors when we're not, since the little bastard can't be trusted. Lol. We ended up getting a new stove, though, so, that worked to get rid of the smell. ^_^

i hate cats- get a dog :)

One of my cats, Mr.Grey, has an eating disorder. He will eat his food and regardless of the amount, he will throw it all up. Of course not every single time, but more often then not.

a good cat is a dead one

That really sucks Does the food you cook with the stove taste like cat piss? Just wondering

You need BLEACH!!!! BLEACH is the ONLY thing I find that works...

like #35 said, that is a BAD idea. Bleach and the ammonia from cat pee getting mixed will result in poisonous chlorine.

i wud pucnh my cat right in his stupid little face if he did that

Then I hope to god you don't have any pets whatsoever...

i have three pets =)

I pity them.

get a new oven and a dog

That would be the end. Pets don't **** or $$$$ where people prepare or eat food. Get rid of it, how long are you going to be a servent to an effing cat?

if your cat still gets on the counters, then yell very loudly at him "NO!" cats hate loud noises so this actually works. either that or fill up a spray bottle and squirt him when he gets up there. he'll come down so fast he'll knock stuff over getting down. bit by bit, this will train him, so keep at it

Son of a bitch! This really sucks... It will be easier to just move.

I had a cat that did that... turns out he was riddled with cancer and we had to put him down :( You should take him to the vet!

my cat did this for 2 years and we tried EVERYTHING. finally he got prescribed prozac and he has not had an accident since! its in a gel we rub on his ears once a day.

OP is retarded. If she tried taking apart her stove and cleaning it with say, BAKING SODA, instead of posting it to FML, she'd be ok.

Poor cat :( she obviously can't help the peeing. Train her to stay away from certain rooms of the house.

YDI for having a cat in the first place, i hope you had the dumb pussy put down. Let this be a lesson to you OP, PETS SUCK.

It is possible to train a cat, but it's extremely difficult. FYL indeed, cat pee is nearly impossible to get out and has an awful stench.

You could try a product called Feliway. It's available in either a spray or you can get it in diffiser form and it's supposed to help relieve stress and anxiety in cats. Try it. The worst that could happen is it doesn't work.

Oh my goodness, my cat did this too! Its so weird how many cats pee on stoves(looking at some other's comments who have the same problem) hahahahhaha It's the WORST smell ever! We would open windows and turn fans on and leave the house. It was awful. We got rid of that cat, she was crazy anyway. She was supposed to be indoor/outdoor but hated being outside so we couldn't move her outside. I never even considered taking her to a vet, I always just assumed it was another new crazy trait of hers.

So you hate her because she's SICK? Fucked up, OP, fucked up. You obviously aren't an animal person to hate a cat for something she has no control over. Yes, the smell stinks. I have 5 cats... 3 strays that have been living around for several months now. As soon as I get enough money, which may be a long time, I'm taking them all to the vet just for regular check ups and spay/neutered.

They have a shot for that. Just one small prick, and the cat won't ever pee again.

Wtf...you hate your cat because it's sick? The cat can't help it...

ur nice, u hate ur cat all coz it has a problem it can't help

Don't listen to all of these bleeding heart animal lovers. Hate cats on principal! They're smug little demons that make you work for their love. Dogs are much better. And they don't usually pee on the stove.

Dogs pee in your bed instead, much better huh?

no dogs they dnt do that! only idiotic cats do that

my dog pees only where she is supposed to :) dogs aren't like cats... they appreciate their masters more

Something like this happened to me only my cat wasnt sick parents kicked it out of the house it had another litter of kittens then ended up being eaten by the coyotes luckily the kittens could eat real food by the time she left having a cat that pees all over everything sucks but don't give up!

Something like this happens to me only I read about it all my punctuation got eaten by coyotes except luckily one little one escaped it is now at the end!

STFU with all your damn cat stories. Nobody gives a shit.

If your cat feels miserable enough that the extreme stress is pushing her THAT far, then you are a total failure as a pet owner. YDI, because you could do SO MANY things to soothe her and put an end to her stress issues.

Yes, like euthanize her. Animals can feel stress for other reasons like their owner leaving on a trip or working more. It doesn't have to be the animal is being beaten or neglected. Especially in temperamental evil monsters like cats. Doesn't anyone also realize how unhealthy it is. I mean come on traces of cat pee in the place where you cook your food. Disgusting.

Tell me about it. No money for a new stove. FML. - OP.

Thanks Mermaid lol I would NEVER mix em though. Bleach is all I use...

if his litter box doesn't meet our cats cleanliness standards he'll pee in the laundry. vinegar is about the only thing that gets the smell out.

Does your cat make too much noise?!?!?! Try Kitten Mittens!

HAHA WIN!

She knows she's not allowed up there. Never went before, in 11 yrs. Only started jumping up there to pee on my stove :(

Your cat might have kidney disease, so take it to a different vet. In addition, let someone adopt it that can deal with the "stress incontinence." The only cats I've ever heard of having that were in households that they hated... and peeing all over is usually a sign of an underlying disease. (My cats only peed in places other than the litterbox when they had chronic renal failure, and a few times when one was mad at me for not giving her soft food.)

Stress incontinence? Are you kidding me? Your cat, like most cats, is just an asshole.

F your cats life for having such a whiny, bitchy owner. No person who wasn't dead inside would care more about that than their sick pet, and even go so far as to say they hate their animal. Unfortunately most people are more stupid and disgusting than any animal so it happens a lot.

Exhibit A- see above poster How about caring about keeping sanitary conditions for everyone, animals included. Would you really want to eat food cooked off of something that a cat peed on? I don't think so.

there r way 2 many ppl that care about cats...its an effin cat, they rn't loyal they dont give a shit about u and u cant train them. if u have a crappy cat shoot it

ydi ... why would u even have a cat when dogs were invented ?

To train your cat to stay off the stove, buy a motion sensor alarm, preferably one that has a chime function so that when it goes off really loudly in the night you don't take a dump in your jammies. To get rid of the smell, use vinegar. Make sure you're lifting the stovetop and cleaning underneath, your cat's likely using the burner holes as a toilet.

Wish my stove worked that way. Doesn't lift up at all, and has solid burners She's not doing it anymore, I put foil over the top at night, she's scared of foil. But the smell lingers on... -OP.

love your cat while you can,cause i just lost one of mine to a tragic mistake.You never know if there going to be with you in the next 5 hours or not. :'(

Vinegar will get the smell out. I would kicked the cat outside. It will live.

Hhmmm,sounds tasty!

may be sad, I dunno how old your cat is, but best thing to do when they start peeing is get rid of em. Take em down the long walk. It's not going to get any better, sides there's an overpopulation problem with cats anyway so just go to your local humane center and cheer yourself up by getting a cat that doesn't pee all over the place.

knasdjfka... I dislike cats and their pee so much... I think you might have to get rid of that cat + that stove...

i hate people like you. people like you should not be allowed to own pets.

If she has stress induced incontinence, how about you try, I don't know, REDUCING her stress. It can be the simplest things that stress cats out -- lack of a schedule (are you away from home for long periods of time? Does she eat at the same time every day? Cats are creature of habit, and freak out when things don't happen on a schedule), a dirty litter box, not enough toys to play with, not enough space, a recent change (new roommate, boyfriend, move, etc.). There are a ton of books that advise how to reduce stress in cats, and sometimes all it takes is a little effort on your part, and the problem clears up. Also, you say SHE, which is the operative gender. A male cat, once he gets into a spraying habit, it generally can't be broken (depending on age). But if your female cat is the one peeing, it's definitely something you're doing, and something in her environment. It's fixable. Don't hate your cat. It's probably your fault.

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