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Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

#6268851 — 11/12/2009 at 2:11am
by neuroticallyours — love
I agree, your life sucks (20617)
You totally deserve it (3437)

What is he, 12? (Which is probably an insult to 12 year olds everywhere). Consider that his response is your clue to break it off with him because he's a moron.

#1 - 11/12/2009 at 9:53am - Jewelofagal

ahahahah I fuckin love guy translations. +stop whining and women get on his horse!

#44 - 11/12/2009 at 1:37pm - liveBabylon

Are you kidding #1 this guy is hilarious!!
God forbid guys should be silly.

#72 - 11/12/2009 at 4:55pm - spiffles

you FAIL.
you're not #2....you're #17

#84 - 11/12/2009 at 6:31pm - pinky2

Trigger: Your boyfriend pulls his pants down and slaps his ass.
Possible Actions:
-Ask him to explain.
-Post the minor confusion on FML.

Yeah, fair enough.

#87 - 11/12/2009 at 6:48pm - narks

Yeah, no kidding. And minor confusion = MLIA, really...
And based on the OP's responses, this definitely deserves MLIA. "Well he was just being random" absolutely rings it should be removed as an FML.

#89 - 11/12/2009 at 7:24pm - DameGreyWulf

ROFL, he probably just had a really big bee sting or something on his ass...

#110 - 11/13/2009 at 12:41am - ActionManly

In my native country, this is a sign that he is preparing to kill you and to use your body for sexual purposes... if you made him a sammich later that day, an action common to American women (and rightfully so!), you may have unknowingly accepted to allow him to fulfill his wish

#128 - 11/13/2009 at 4:40pm - tarheel22893

Get a fucking life, the girl isn't moaning and I doubt she'll appreciate anyone telling her to "Get on his horse". Grow up.

#141 - 11/23/2009 at 2:44pm - IonaDavina

I sort of agree, it could have been some form of a sex joke! Maybe it has something to do with pride. it's seems more like just a way to show off that he knows he's good. Guys are like that, I see no problem here!

#143 - 12/13/2009 at 3:23am - Othello22

lol at 87 :P

#148 - 03/02/2010 at 7:10pm - rachs1161

Learn some grammar.

#2 - 11/12/2009 at 9:54am - broomstick

....my boyfriend did the same thing. I don't know why either.

#73 - 11/12/2009 at 5:05pm - ToxicMoon

ahh...the mind of a man...idiotic yet awesome

#94 - 11/12/2009 at 8:55pm - greenltrn2003

it probably means "kiss my ass"

#3 - 11/12/2009 at 9:54am - KittyMcSunshine

I think it means that he's mentally incapacitated and that it's time to move on.

#4 - 11/12/2009 at 9:56am - Rayn4u

Damn right he sounds like a tard

#85 - 11/12/2009 at 6:34pm - bored690

YDI for picking a boyfriend with an obvious lack of intelligence.

#5 - 11/12/2009 at 9:57am - lostfaithinpppl

and your basing your theory and what exactly? is everyone with an odd sense of humor or way of showing affection unintelligent? yay, for you showing your ignorance though! (that was also sarcasm, in case you think that's unintelligent too)

#80 - 11/12/2009 at 5:58pm - neuroticallyours

OP - I don't think you're doing yourself any favours by responding to everyone's posts here. FMLs are meant to be funny - you don't need to justify your life to anyone. In fact, you may just be helping along the increased negativity people are viewing your post with.
People comment here with what amused them about the FML, and aren't expecting an argument with the OP about exactly why their comment how their comment does not relate to the OP's life.

#90 - 11/12/2009 at 7:31pm - fireandice27

"Hahahaha, i slap myself on da butt! Bwhahaha i poo-poo out here. Look at me, i'm da best horse in da entire world. Hahahahahaha butt and poo-poo."

Yeah, ass-slapping isn't the most intelligent form of humour.

But YDI for not knowing what an self-inflicted ass-slapping means after being told your loved.

#93 - 11/12/2009 at 8:15pm - crazytoaster

yes because doing something probably just to be funny is a definite sign of a lack of intelligence. you must have a boring as shit taste in guys

#104 - 11/12/2009 at 11:13pm - Coocumber

fyl for not having a sense of humor

#6 - 11/12/2009 at 9:58am - reecescuphoe

Why didn't you ask him what it meant? Did the scene somehow just end there? Or did he walk off? In which case, I think you have your answer.

#7 - 11/12/2009 at 9:59am - jcrook

lol exactly my thought. obviously you should ask him what it meant, if you're unsure. then, problem solved. i didn't realize minor confusion equated to an FML these days.

#39 - 11/12/2009 at 1:02pm - RyeBreadBoy

Minor confusion is not the reason for the FML but rather his response was. I put that in as an afterthought, and for everyone wondering what it meant, it was just a joke, plain and simple, he's not retarded, just random as fuck.

#56 - 11/12/2009 at 2:34pm - neuroticallyours

Woo.

#58 - 11/12/2009 at 3:07pm - BritishHobo

Ya i totaly agree its not an FML unless it totaly ended there. i hate these people that post things that are like unfinished stories

#71 - 11/12/2009 at 4:42pm - sweetspicegirl

I guess it might mean he's only happy sexually and he thought you would give him some since you want to make him happy. Or just the latter. Just tell him how you honestly feel about sexual stuff, if that bothered you then you should let him know.

#8 - 11/12/2009 at 10:00am - StaticDown

hahaha this really made me laugh!
i'm gonna say FYL, but if i were you i wouldn't look to much into it. many guys react this way when faced with emotional talk and feelings. i know its immature but still not a reason to break it off with him like some pple are sayin :)

#9 - 11/12/2009 at 10:01am - lebrockshard

This is not an FML. So what if your bf is unusual? If you can't deal with that, leave.

#10 - 11/12/2009 at 10:02am - PhillyFox

WHY did my reply (which was #1) disappear from here?

#11 - 11/12/2009 at 10:06am - Jewelofagal

Mine has before also. I don't know why. I wasn't an ass and typed, "first!" either. It was a good comment, with replies, and it disappeared.

#14 - 11/12/2009 at 10:24am - just_me_tmp

Perhaps if I been a jerk and had put "first!", my response wouldn't have disappeared! ;)

#27 - 11/12/2009 at 11:24am - Jewelofagal

http://www.nelsonhaha.com

That's for both of you.

#48 - 11/12/2009 at 1:56pm - HookEmTexas07

It happens quite a lot, unfortunately :(

#99 - 11/12/2009 at 9:38pm - fireandice27

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
who cares, seriously.

#109 - 11/13/2009 at 12:14am - ILIEKGIRLS

It means that he would be happier if you put it in his ass. Or it means that he is happy to be with you?

#12 - 11/12/2009 at 10:11am - donkey_hang_down

sounds like something my boyfriend would do lol

#13 - 11/12/2009 at 10:23am - katedeannn

Mine too. Although he might slap mine....

#62 - 11/12/2009 at 3:20pm - sven25

Don't see how this is an FML. Great you don't understand something, perhaps you should inform us that you also don't understand quantum theory?

#15 - 11/12/2009 at 10:27am - pointerdog

He probably meant OP is a PAIN IN THE ASS xD

#16 - 11/12/2009 at 10:29am - pandadol

WTF IDK either.

#18 - 11/12/2009 at 10:44am - SilverStrs5

I'm going out on a limb here, but I think it was a kind of sexual overture -- a preliminary mating ritual, if you will.

#19 - 11/12/2009 at 10:47am - perdix

LOL!! Or LMAO would be more appropriate :D

OP: Were you able to keep a straight face? hahahaha

#102 - 11/12/2009 at 11:09pm - omghehehe

o yea your life is truly fucked now

#20 - 11/12/2009 at 10:53am - G5guy

Obviously he was replying in morse code.

#21 - 11/12/2009 at 10:54am - anglicdvil524

He probent it as a "o yea, u kno u want this' type thing or that he preforms well sexually

#22 - 11/12/2009 at 10:56am - Starfire22

Perhaps he was trying to indicate to you that he wanted you to slap his ass and call him Shirley?

#23 - 11/12/2009 at 11:08am - Jimboom

Have you heard the phrase "well slap my ass and call me a monkey" or something like that? I'm not sure how it applies to this situation though. Did you consider that maybe your boyfriend is mentally challenged?

#24 - 11/12/2009 at 11:09am - GreenHacker

yikes, 25, that seems a little drastic when she can just buy a nice strap-on dildo for a fraction of the cost. Nothing you're doing wrong, OP, everyone likes a little anal pleasure every now and again ;)

#49 - 11/12/2009 at 1:58pm - derschadenfreude

ha she could just fist him.cheaper

#57 - 11/12/2009 at 2:39pm - dwindling81

Maybe you should ask?

i could see mine doing that as a joke.

#26 - 11/12/2009 at 11:23am - BlackDragoness

That doesn't make sense but I guess it shows the immaturity of some guys.

#28 - 11/12/2009 at 11:31am - painthatimuseto

Be sure not to fall off that high horse of yours while parading around.

#50 - 11/12/2009 at 2:02pm - HookEmTexas07

Are you sure he didn't say "kiss it baby" at the same time?

#29 - 11/12/2009 at 11:31am - CallMeHush

This is not an FML... but it sure did made me laugh.

I would be laughing if my boyfriend did that to me.

#30 - 11/12/2009 at 11:44am - tangy88

I think it's time to go to your local sex shop and pick up a strap-on. I think he wants to take this relationship to another level.

#31 - 11/12/2009 at 11:46am - jonny2x4

First of all, this is NOT a true FML. Second, you deserve it for having such a poor grasp of proper grammar.

#32 - 11/12/2009 at 11:48am - BlueberryPies

Poor grasp of proper grammar? I would really like to know where seeing as I checked my entry before submitting it, and I'm a stickler for bad grammar. Nice to see that you spelled grammar with an "a" instead of an "e" like most half-wits though. Kudos!

#54 - 11/12/2009 at 2:24pm - neuroticallyours

any amusement i found from your post has completely diminished after realizing what a total douchebag you are.

who the hell actually monitors the comment feed on their own entry and responds??!

#106 - 11/12/2009 at 11:54pm - everydayisFML

LOL

#33 - 11/12/2009 at 11:50am - haj

can we say dip wad ?? and he's taking you for granted?

#35 - 11/12/2009 at 12:05pm - jmartinezstudios

hes punishing himself for making you happy, it sounds to me like hes a jokester

#36 - 11/12/2009 at 12:09pm - spoo

he wants you to kiss his ass and ride him. he thought yu meant happy with him and wanted to get in bed.

#37 - 11/12/2009 at 12:45pm - Makingamemory

It means you got a live one.. saddle that up and unlatch the pen door. yeehaw, rawhide! nicee

#38 - 11/12/2009 at 12:48pm - mercyFML

LOL!!!! Sounds like a good time!

#103 - 11/12/2009 at 11:12pm - omghehehe

stop talking
you'll live

#40 - 11/12/2009 at 1:18pm - gpstyne

"He responded by", or "His response was to". Can't have both. Please someone edit this garbage FML!

#41 - 11/12/2009 at 1:18pm - Bloodknight

lol
Probably just being silly, who knows?
Sounds like my boyfriend, though. He and I were in a Walmart yesterday, and he walks up to me all lovingly and embraces me and then, "Kassi, overcome diabetes." (Only he said "diabeetus") He was reading a nearby magazine cover to me.
Such a freak. D:

(Also, no, I don't have diabetes.)

#42 - 11/12/2009 at 1:29pm - LeverPuller

it means you're just a booty call! XD

#43 - 11/12/2009 at 1:37pm - honutattoo

this is the stupidest fml i've seen so far.

#45 - 11/12/2009 at 1:49pm - kayy23

For all of those people complaining that this isn't a "true" FML, don't complain to the OP, complain to the people who run the site. you can also moderate the FML's if you look at the top of the page. So i'd really advise that before you bitch about what is and isn't an FML you do something to prevent the ones you don't think are "true FML's" from appearing on the site. Damn, you don't have to be the head cashier at the Wal-Mart to figure that one out!

#76 - 11/12/2009 at 5:44pm - neuroticallyours

It IS a pretty stupid FML... stupid things can be funny. Like what your man did (obviously it doesn't mean HE'S stupid but the act was) chill OP

#112 - 11/13/2009 at 1:24am - MagicMeds

That's like blaming the store for someone shoplifting. How are the people who run this site supposed to know which FMLs are fake, unless it's blatantly obvious? Get real.

#120 - 11/13/2009 at 11:32am - allie2590

It means You've been whipped.. or he has.. they use the saying on John tucker must die.. I've seen epople do the ass slapping before while saying "you've been whipped". Whipped means you've fallen for someone sorta.

#46 - 11/12/2009 at 1:49pm - Lora118118

Are you like really really stupid? Well clearly. Whipped doesnt mean you've fallen for someone, it means either someone has you trained or you have them trained.

Wow, the stupidity of some people amazes me. Get your point right. Dumbass

#51 - 11/12/2009 at 2:09pm - midnight_rain

Boo hoo your boyfriend slapped his bare ass. Get the fuck OVER IT!

#47 - 11/12/2009 at 1:50pm - Inked2009

It's just weirdness. Do you want a boring guy?

#52 - 11/12/2009 at 2:23pm - GreenRupee

Sounds like my bf. He always does that shit at random times. He says he thinks it's funny.

#53 - 11/12/2009 at 2:24pm - Voids

WIN! rofl!

#55 - 11/12/2009 at 2:31pm - MrmnGrl

Possibilities:

1. You're a pain in the ass. YDI

2. He doesn't care about you. FYL

3. He wants you to torture him in an S&M game. WIN

#59 - 11/12/2009 at 3:08pm - xenomorph

This made me laugh :)

#60 - 11/12/2009 at 3:15pm - Darksect0r13

it might have been his way of saying 'ok, I've made u happy, how about you return the favor with some kinky sex.' but you should probily ask him, be extra nice or your question might come across as a message of dissapproval,

#61 - 11/12/2009 at 3:17pm - Am4eyo

lmao #17!!!!

#63 - 11/12/2009 at 3:24pm - jessxoxo28

It means you're obviously easily impressed...

#64 - 11/12/2009 at 3:32pm - blacklite69

Why isn't this on MLIA?

Fools.

#65 - 11/12/2009 at 3:32pm - emajaklin

Yeah this is pretty damn average if you ask me. A lot of guys (and the best ones in my opinion) have a sense of humor and will do random things like this. Either enjoy it for what it is or if you really dont like it then find someone who will write you sonnets professing their love to you or whatever it is that you desire.

#91 - 11/12/2009 at 7:46pm - SOMAgirl

It means that OP is upset she didn't attention except from his butt so she's a bit upset and is wanting attention.

#66 - 11/12/2009 at 3:55pm - theteal

win. XD.

#67 - 11/12/2009 at 4:10pm - Twitch04

ROFL.
Yes, much win.

I wouldn't want it to happen to me, however, therefore FYL o:

#68 - 11/12/2009 at 4:15pm - failuristic

I think it means u r a pain in the ass.

#69 - 11/12/2009 at 4:17pm - movies12

It means "Hey this dick isn't going to suck itself lady!"

#70 - 11/12/2009 at 4:38pm - 291togo

HAHAHAHAHA! FTW

#75 - 11/12/2009 at 5:42pm - donkey_hang_down

Honestly this isn't an FML he sounds like a super funny guy, that probably makes your relationship fun.. maybe you shouldn't be so uptight.

#74 - 11/12/2009 at 5:41pm - adris

That wasn't the point of the FML, but maybe you were too busy studying Quantum Theory to realize that!

#77 - 11/12/2009 at 5:46pm - neuroticallyours

HAHAAH

#78 - 11/12/2009 at 5:48pm - ThisisAMBAA

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

#79 - 11/12/2009 at 5:52pm - tabrium

hey, Antichrist! like i've said to other people, what are you basing you callous assumptions on? God forbid someone do something comedic. Just because your Obama loving ass( Judging by your name, see i can assume too!) wouldn't do something like that doesn't make it "infantile"

#81 - 11/12/2009 at 6:05pm - neuroticallyours

Sounds hot!

#82 - 11/12/2009 at 6:13pm - ragsy

Translation: he wants to take this relationship to another which includes a dildo up his ass

#83 - 11/12/2009 at 6:29pm - saucey12

LOOOOOLLLL!! ahahahhahaha what DID you doooo!?

#86 - 11/12/2009 at 6:37pm - Bibbz55

it means he wants to take a poo

#88 - 11/12/2009 at 7:15pm - frostyboy0

That just means he really loves you

#92 - 11/12/2009 at 8:01pm - bullshitdetector

damn this neuroticallyyours bitch needs to calm the fuck down. seriously if you post an fml, expect people to poke fun at or give you shit for it.

#95 - 11/12/2009 at 9:14pm - kayy23

Who's fault is it that your boyfriend's a totall bad ass? Nobody's! Your boyfriend OWNS. Bwahahahaha. +1

#96 - 11/12/2009 at 9:20pm - Aha09

*total

#98 - 11/12/2009 at 9:36pm - Aha09

The ass slapping gesture means he loves you. Alot.

#97 - 11/12/2009 at 9:21pm - xPineapples

...maybe he wants you to kiss it. Since he's clearly always kissing yours.

Do you even know what an FML is? Clearly not, because this is not an FML. You knew your boyfriend was immature.

#100 - 11/12/2009 at 9:48pm - ohmandapants

Dooo! the site is supposed to be funny... and this was one of the funniest i've seen yet; who cares if it's a TUREEEE OMG fml if it's funny?

#113 - 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - MagicMeds

This is more of a MLIA type thing, not an FML.

#127 - 11/13/2009 at 2:26pm - ohmandapants

Is there a site for MLIA or something?

#140 - 11/22/2009 at 1:18pm - MrmnGrl

oh and btw, way to go commenting on your own FML OP. Get your head out of your ass. Honestly, your comments are just verbal diarrhea.

#101 - 11/12/2009 at 9:54pm - ohmandapants

LOL i actually think this is pretty funny i wudnt kno how to reply to that either.. SMH Ur boyfriend might be A lil slow lol

#105 - 11/12/2009 at 11:23pm - PeaNuTMnMs

I'm speechless..........

#107 - 11/12/2009 at 11:55pm - Guitarist45

get a new bf. what a nut job.

#108 - 11/13/2009 at 12:12am - Thecommish

Haha I LOL at this one reminds me of the kind of ppl in movies who whenever their gf talks to them about how they feel he gives her a look that she knows too well as the "time to get it on?" look

#111 - 11/13/2009 at 1:20am - woofis

It means your relationship lacks long-term potential.
...
...
Oh, you wanted to know what HE meant by it.
Well, I have no idea. Ask him.

#114 - 11/13/2009 at 1:32am - FoundManyLemons

Let me explain what it was supposed to mean: instead of "FML" this episode could have ended with just "FM."

#115 - 11/13/2009 at 1:47am - Ninjaface

LOL
1>That's a outpouring of ture feelings after him heard what you said.
2>he wants to say"bite my ass".

#116 - 11/13/2009 at 2:32am - cein

Is your bf really hairy? Do his knuckles brush the ground when he walks, semi-upright? You might actually be dating a chimp. Check it out.

#117 - 11/13/2009 at 2:33am - kellster

not all guys are like this LADIES, all i ever hear is most guys this and most guys that. Woman are so judgemental!!!

#118 - 11/13/2009 at 5:17am - bobnama

Hey wait, are you dating my ex boyfriend?

#119 - 11/13/2009 at 11:17am - aprestia

You know OP, since you posted an FML about something stupid your boyfriend did and then got pissed at everyone who said your boyfriend was stupid, I'm going to assume that he was trying to tell you that you're a pain in the ass.

#121 - 11/13/2009 at 11:35am - allie2590

That's like MLIA My Life is AWKWARD. For real.

#122 - 11/13/2009 at 11:47am - princessjane

He meant he wanted to end your relationship. That's it.

#123 - 11/13/2009 at 11:59am - Saluton

oh my gosh! this is so freaking hilarious. Why not do it to him next time and see how he responds? If he responds in a humorous manner than that means it was a joke to him. If he gets angry then it probably means you should break up with him...

#124 - 11/13/2009 at 12:53pm - phenistae

Your boyfriend just got on my awesome list.

#125 - 11/13/2009 at 1:22pm - adelulf

us guys do that to show happiness on the highest of levels

#126 - 11/13/2009 at 2:18pm - Freed0mfr1es

FML FAIL

#129 - 11/13/2009 at 8:01pm - wappit

You're boyfriend's a d-bag. Dump him.

He obviously meant for you to kiss his ass.

#130 - 11/13/2009 at 8:33pm - twilighter513

I wanted to make sure that you get this whole guy-language, also known as idiots' ways of telling you things:

1. If the guy agrees with you, he haven't listened to what you were saying.

2. If the guy doesn't agree with you, then he is just suicidal.

3. If the guy slaps his butt it means that he actually likes you and wants to know stuff about you not just being his little sex-toy, so you should take this as a sign of "love" and marry him right away!

#131 - 11/14/2009 at 4:55am - CheeseHater

hahahahahahahahahahahaa
i dont know why i find that extremely funny

#132 - 11/14/2009 at 3:54pm - Giulii

AHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My boyfriend would do that.

#133 - 11/14/2009 at 7:17pm - JessiGoose

In some cultures, this means he wants to make mad, hot, monkey love to you.

#134 - 11/15/2009 at 12:54pm - kirei

That is fucking hilarious

#135 - 11/16/2009 at 6:20pm - whoismgmt

You should have put his peni5 in your mouth like a good GF should.

#136 - 11/18/2009 at 1:58am - COBRAMORPH

OMG I swear I know this guy hahaha

#137 - 11/18/2009 at 2:22pm - BratFaceCupcake

It means "get a new boyfriend".

#138 - 11/18/2009 at 3:37pm - jaustin03

wtf??! lol haha ur bf is krazy!!

#139 - 11/20/2009 at 8:57pm - misstay

Him pulling down his pants and slapping his ass, after you saying how much he meant to you means " I know, like just look at this fine body. It's all yours." Its a cocky way of saying i know, because sometimes guys have trouble just taking shit seriously.

#142 - 12/09/2009 at 3:12am - Serenacrash

you should have slapped his ass.

#144 - 01/01/2010 at 2:44am - Danceswithsmurfs

apparently your boyfriend is an enlightened Zen master. Instead of moaning, you should try and achieve enlightenment yourself.

#145 - 01/02/2010 at 8:01am - gecko984

"....as we see, the dominate male expresses his satisfaction with the famales offerings. He will soon feast, then return to his den, and slumber."




... It's suppose to be a brittish documenterist, haha...

#146 - 01/03/2010 at 3:40pm - waldosmind

oh woow maybe it meens kiss my ass babe

#147 - 02/06/2010 at 12:13am - sexxayy

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