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Today, I overheard my best friend's wife telling their kids to pay attention in school and stay focused on their goals so they don't end up a failure in life like their father's friend, Matt. Hi, my name is Matt and I'm the friend. FML

Well, at least you succeeded in one thing in your life- being the bad example

We bad examples prefer the more politically correct term "cautionary tale." ;) You have to be sensitive when you label losers -- not many "winners" go on shooting rampages.

Simple concept of how retarded you are -- meaningful quotes on fmylife are lame

Been stuck in that situation before. That's when you pop out and say "Hi, I'm Matt. You should listen to your father. I'd much rathor be a raging success like he is. Oh, by the way, find your own damn ride to the airport. I just realized I'm too much of a failure to take you." (waits for "you such a looser" comnments) PS, I was lucky. He had to leave for an important business trip in 3 hours. Just get creative.

@31 you sure showed him, must have cost him a good 30 bucks in taxi fare. lucky hes successful and can live without your favours.

Actually, 41, the reason he needed a ride was that his car was in the shop getting his brand new transmission installed, considering the last up and stopped working. Safe tuh say...DAT NIGGUH BROKE! He gave me the guilt trip by saying "My car's in the shop!" and I just said "Why don't you fix it with all your success?" "I am" "Good, looks like my job here is done. See ya Thursday!"

...not following your point.

thats teriible -_-

nah, he deserved it for not paying attention in school

Actually, he deserved it for writing "Hi, I'm Matt" in his FML and then posting it as Anonymous.

So? My name isn't really Gizmo, what's your point?

that was utterly tactless... what exactly do you do? or not do?

i agree, evesdropping is tactless.

Well, are you a failure in life?

Exactly what I came in here to say. Maybe the mother's a lawyer or something and thinks that any other job beneath that is a "failure," or maybe he's an alcoholic who lives with his mom and doesn't have a job and really IS a failure.

And you just stood there and took it. DoorMatt is more like it.

Matt Foley? Are you thrice divorced? And do you live in a van down by the river?

It's actually a Geo, thankyou.

Well, la-dee-frickin-da!

Gosh, The_pleb, looking at the brilliance of your comment #7 makes me want to retire. Can't do better than that! Bravo! Genius!

It is awesome to be a role model of kids!

Hey there, Matt!

Matt - At least you ARE a role model... Just the "dont be like him" role model is sufficient enough right?

Punch her. And if it comes to it, punch the kids.

Hi Matt. Operation: Do Best Friend's Wife needs to go into effect. And you do her good Matty, you do her good! So after she sucks you off, ask her "How does failures taste like bitch!?" Worry not, your best friend will understand.

WOW, Brutal. Now take an honest look and if she isn't a raging bitch that needs a kick in the slot, do something about it.

Good thinking, posting as anonymous, Matt :-)

Anal Lana, the pumpkin-carving girl, also submitted as Anonymous. Good catch!

Here you are according to Urbandictionary, ahem.. 1.Anything in the english language that can possibly be an insult to anyone who has ever existed in the history of the universe. If you were to call someone a matt that would be like all the worst words in the world put into one. 2.A fatshit who all he does is sit down at his home and paint, cry, and or eat. Brandon: "Hey asshole fuck your mom" Mitch: "fuck you MATT!" Brandon: *(cries)* 1.A guy with no arms or legs laying in front of your door. Look at my matt. "That guy has no limbs!" "Oh yeah,.. thats matt."

Pretty funny, but you already said at the beginning you were his best friend, why did you say at the ending he was your friend also?

Just reinforcing that he was 'the friend' that his best friends wife was referring to I guess?

ydi for being a failure

number 23 id fuck ur mouth all day everyday get straight to it like theres nothing to it

wow ur life sucks balls

What a bitch. It's time to teach those kids a trick from Family Guy- "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mama, mama, mama, ma, ma, ma..."

#32 LMAO YEAH :D

Wow kill yourself I don't think fmls should be posted that end with "hi I'm..."

ydi for being a loser

Oh Matt...maybe she was talking about a different Matt. If you're as dumb as she says you are you may just believe that : )

Look, this is why people need to be honest with themselves! If you are living a lie, you are always gonna be painfully surprised and shocked when somebody says something true about you, that happens to be negative. Matt, you need to stop telling yourself "im the man, im not a failure" if you are. Look at your JOB. Look at your LIFE. Are you happy? Are you in shape? Are you making good money? Do you have a wife and kids, or at least get girls? If you answered no to any of these questions, than you need to FIX IT before you can honestly tell yourself "im not a failure in life". ===================== I'm not trying to be rude, bro. But that's just the way it is.

YDI for being a failure.. :)

well r u a failure??? it is what everyone is thinking, face the facts man

Well, are you?

I feel very bad for you.

Hi Matt. Im Danielle. Nice to meet you too.

Even if you aren't doing so well it was unnecessary for her to be such a bitch. At that point I would have interrupted with "and make sure you think of other peoples feelings so you don't end up an inconsiderate bitch like your mother."

ita not like she sed it to his fce to be a bitch... he overheard her talking to her kids... im sure if she kbew he heard her she would feel like shit..

oh hey, I'm Katie.

LMFAO! WIN! And, Hey Matt. Im Slagathor.

Well, maybe if you weren't a failure, people wouldn't say things like that when they don't know you're listening in.

sound like my parents. wasn't cuz i was a failure. it was cuz i've left the LDS church. so they have life lessons to the rest of my siblings about how to not be like me.

dont listen to that dumb bitch if your happy with what you have and the way your life turned out then who is she to say your a failure. and in the case that you are a failure get up off your ass and go get whatever it is that you think will make you a success

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