Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
by yada — intimacy
Wow.
Wow that was pretty funny but i would hate for my mom to say that to me.
Didn't you ever watch those commercials with the blue and pink cookie monster looking things singing "Don't you put it in your mouth if you don't know what is it?" Lol, that's pretty bad though.
Can we rewrite this to be slightly more understandable?
Aaaaand then you vomit.
...
EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW
That's sooooo icky!
I want to vomit hearing that.
Your mom's a classy dame.
Yeesh that makes me cringe just thinking about it...
ewwwww
Kinky.
dude.....just wrong
So wrong on sooo many levels. LOL
#6 - yada (the poster) just had a taste of the cream his/her mother will be putting on her nipples for his/her dad to eat up! Couldn't be any clearer if you ask me!
this is far and away one of the best FMLs I have read. if you made this up, which i don't think you did, you would have to be one sick mofo. i'll be laughing for the rest of the day.
Are you sure it wasn't a mistake in wording? Perhaps it's some type of food she was describing? The question is what did you eat for dinner that night?
Well then maybe you'll like your mom's "special juices" too
OMFG ! this is just too funny
+SCREAMS WITH HIS EYES+
Sure it put a terrible mental image in your head, but nothing really wrong with it so long as you didn't have to lick it off of her breasts(If you did, it might be a good time to call child protective services or move out :p). It should come as no surprise that your parents still have sex... It should also come as no surprise that they've probably grown bored of the same old routine.
Raunchy as hell
LOL
this one made my shitty day seem awesome.
Dude.
That is gross.
that's so wrong on so many levels. haha
poor you!
WOW. you're mom is a weird one.
Damn. That's terrible. And disturbing.
Dear god.....
WTF?
....woooooow, lolololol
aw daaamn i feel real bad for u
but its kinda funny
eventho ur mom did a mean thing to u lol
Oh my gosh. This is too funny
Dude, that post f*cked up *MY* life.
just.... wow.................... WOW! Get the hell outa that house quick man! dont wana be there tonight......... do something.. occupying with your friends
She definitely should have lied to you.
If your dad asks you to try some marshmallow creme to see if your mom likes it, dear god don't do it.
LOL! Nice!! Well your dad ought to like it then, eh?
OMFG thats so nasty. i think i would cry. and shun my mom.
I have never been so creeped out at one of these before.
Did you Throw up in your mouth? I would have
thats so funnny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pics or it didn't happen. NAO!!!!!111!!!!!111
hahahahahhaha
#24 - how is there nothing wrong with that? by doing this she is involving her kid in her sex life which no parent should ever do, that's just f*cked up.
Though it is disturbing this is still funny as hell because it didn't happen to me.
hahahaaaaaa oh.my. lord.
possibly the worst answer you could get.
wtf is wrong with ur mom lolll thats so horrible
oh. em. gee.
did your dad at least like it?
OMG that is wrong in soooo many ways...
I practically puked just reading this. Please tell us what you said afterwards.
i know how you feel buddy. there are empty condom boxes and lube all over my house. sucks that im too young to move outt
but hey thanks, now i know if my mom asks me to try anything, i'll ALWAYS ask what it is first!
If it was me, might have the same reaction. But if can put somewhat of a positive spin will put it this way: your helping your parents try new things and stay together.
that's fucking nasty. i'm sorry.
The proper response: "Thanks mom.. but you need to hire me an escort now to wipe that image from my mind.. TONIGHT..".
Both hysterically funny, and creepy-wrong at the same time...
:'( so gross. so so so so gross.
The way I know this FML is a lie is because I've been desperately searching for strawberry flavored nipple cream and every sex store has told me it hasn't been released yet.
Regardless, gross. FYFML.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIE
nom nom nom
oh my GOD I WOULD PUKE!!!!!!!!!
Wow, not going to lie, this is quite ridiculous
Gross, I'm so sorry!
that is so gross
Sounds like some shit my mom would do. That's not cool, Bro.
Can I call your mom sometime? What's her number?
Is your mom hot?
Your mom shouldn't have been so detailed in her description. If she's old she could have played dumb and pretended she didn't know it was some sort of sex cream...
Also something similar happened to a friend of mine. His mom, along with this girl and her gay brother were discussing blowjob techniques in front of him.
His mom also proudly tells people that her son is hung.
*Clutches his head* EEEEeeEEEYOOOWWwwwwWWww!! *Tries to bash the image out of his skull with a waffle iron* get OUT get OUT get OUT
aww..... NO!!!... ur mum is seducing u!!!
oh ewww. she should have at least had the decency to lie to about what it was
Whoever came up with the expression "Sharing is caring" obviously didn't picture this scenario.
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Wow. Your mom could have easily lied and said it was for something completely not related to her sex life but, she gave it to you straight. Either she considers you to be VERY mature or she clearly doesn't have any concept of what it is to have disturbing mental images put into your head.
In any event, I would ask her, politely, to not make mention of anything relating to her 'activities' to you and to not use you as her lab rat.
What's your mom's number?
Lol
BAHAHAHA me and my friends were cracking up about this at school..thats hilarious..but im sorry
Yum(:
omg
that is hilarious
i lol'd
nipple cream?
that's just disturbing
disgusting
That shit's fucked up.
But so great I'm laughing my ass off!
LMAO xD
dat nasty but funny as fuck xD
I would lick it off her
that is so wrong and so nasty to even contemplate, it sucks to be you dude
Damn, dude. FYL
That is one of the better ones I've read today...so vile, yet so hilarious!
Why so sensitive, dog? Be happy your parents are still bumping uglies. My parents have barely touched each-other in the last decade.
Dude, you suck with girls, she wanted to fuck your brains out. Take that shit to town
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA i love this, it made me laugh the whole entire day
wow. that's creepy.
omg i'm cracking up at this, it's hilarious!!!!
i would shoot myself if my mom did that to me x___x
I think I'd cry.
For a verrrry long time.
At least it tasted good.
This site never fails to amaze me at the lack of boundaries some parents have. It should be required for a parenting class: don't ever do any of these.
what the hell is nipple cream? not sure if I want to find out though. sounds nasty
i would kick her in the teeth
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA
thats amazing. :)
