Home

Top FML

Flop FML

Submit

Sign in

Categories →

Random FML

Moderate

Love

Money

Kids

Work

Health

Intimacy

Miscellaneous

← Back

→ The latest FMLs

Today, my daughter asked me if King Kong was based on a true story. She's twenty. FML

Today, I realized that my girlfriend of almost three years is in love with my best friend. How did I realize it? If being ditched halfway through a date didn't do it, catching them making out did. FML

Today, while outside doing some yard work, I noticed a large dead branch. I picked it up and was heaving it over my head towards the woods, when it snapped in half. One half flew into the woods. The other half flew through the windshield of my brand new 2010 Mazda. FML

Today, I went camping for the first time. My friends thought it would be funny to put cookie crumbs on my face while I was sleeping. I woke up with ants in my face and eyes. FML

Today, I saw my dad going into my bedroom looking suspicious. Apparently he hides pornography in my wardrobe. FML

Today, I was working on a nail gun at work. I figured out what the customer meant when he said that it was misfiring. I gassed it up, and it shot a nail into my foot without my finger being anywhere near the trigger. FML

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

Today, after a long and tiring week, I took the London underground home late. I fell asleep, went miles past my stop, and had to pay for a taxi back because I was on the last train. FML

Today, for the first time in 15 years, my dad is having a go at parenting. Not as being my parent though, but for some random overseas kid he applied guardianship for. FML

Today, someone said they were surprised that I was gay after they saw me making out with some guy. That "guy" is my girlfriend. FML

Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months changed his Facebook status from "In a Relationship" to "Single." When I asked him, he said "I meant to tell you last night, but my phone died, so I couldn't call." FML

Today, it was my first day of work at a daycare downtown. I knew I'd get the job after I'd spent my interview telling the owner how experienced I am, taking care of children all my life. It's 9 pm, and I just left the emergency room after dropping 8 month old Tyler on his face. Oh yeah, I'm fired. FML

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

Today, the dance pole that my roommate, friend, and I bought and put up a week ago broke into four pieces. It was $225.00. Also, there is now a hole in our wall and my landlord is coming to put the air conditioning in soon. FML